New Beginnings

I am middle aged (in my fifties) and my mum and my husband talk to me as though I am approaching the final stage of my life - old age. Their view is that the only thing left to look forward to is retirement.  I don't want to believe that. I want to believe that there is a new phase in my life about to begin that is full of energy, new experiences, new connections,new ideas and full of excitement and adventure . New beginning are not just for the young they can happen at any age. I must always believe that .

Do not judge

Do not judge others. This blocks the laws of attraction. You may find your self in the same situation at some point or have been in a similar situation in the past -Remember that!

Don't Compare

Don't compare yourself to others. There will always be someone better or worse off than you. We are all travelling down our own paths. Just compare yourself to yourself. Am I doing better now than I was, then that is O.K.

The Meaning f Life

To love, appreciate, to feel so grateful and blessed for the present moment, that is all God asks of us.

In the words of Deepak Chopra - In Gods eyes we are completely loved and completely loveable . He loves us no matter what. There is nothing you have to achieve or do to make God love you. You are already infinitely precious exactly as you are to God. Shift from the ego's insecurities and awaken to Gods love

'The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are'   -  Joseph Campbell

It's all about me

It' is a recurring problem that I have been dealing with since I was pretty young really, feeling like a failure and beating myself up, constantly for not being a great mum, daughter, wife, friend, not having a great career or for not being particularly talented. This January has been tough. I have struggled with low moods but today I feel the clouds are finally parting. It is funny I have received lots of good advice from all kinds of sources to help me through but it is only now when I am open to receive help that I can appreciate the help God was sending me. One quote that I read on Instagram that stuck with me said 'I am not here to fix anything, I am here to have fun'. I have decided this month is going to be all about me and having fun. My main focus is going to be finding as many ways to enjoy myself. The words 'I should' are not going to enter my vocabulary. I'm not going to think I should do this to be a good person or to please that person. I am just going to do whatever brings me joy. That sounds selfish but I actually think that by following my joy I may actually get closer to finding my purpose. I usually feel the happiest anyway spending time with family and friends. I usually find things work out better when I am feeling light-hearted and happy. I am not going to be silly - I know if I go on a spending spree I may experience an afternoon of joy but then a lot of misery later wondering how I am going to pay for it all. For this month I am going to try not to worry about what I am doing to find a worthwhile career or to help my fellowman. I am going to leave that to God to sort those things out. If God brings opportunities for change in those areas of my life then that will be amazing but my focus is going to be on fun, blue skies, lots of love and laughter. Let's see how I get on. 

Handling Fear

I was saying in a previous post how I had been going through a difficult time and how I thought it was unfair that fear blocked you from moving on when you need it most. I did find relief eventually by continually praying. My prayers were desperate but at some point I must have relaxed enough to enable me to hear the answer I needed to hear to move forward. Things have been good since then, brilliant in fact, I have felt close to God and aligned with the universe. You would think that if you were perfectly aligned, life should run perfectly, everything falling in to place just as it should but life does not happen like that. There are ups and there are downs and now I have come to another tricky situation. I now feel more equipped to deal with it which is why I must tell you about this. Fear is such a natural human response, anything that happens that is out of the ordinary, that challenges our regular existence instantly results in fear which clouds our decisions. The excuses that fill our heads to try and escape the fear are so loud and strong they block out the calmness that we must adopt to hear God. We want to listen to the fear because that feels safer, easier. We convince ourselves that these thoughts are there to protect us and those close to us from more hurt or from making mistakes in the future, so we must take them seriously. A situation has arisen in my life, a possible life changing decision. I instantly felt afraid, I wanted to ignore it and remain in my safe, predictable life. This time before the fear took hold completely I prayed to God. I actually said to myself I am not going to think fearful thoughts about this yet I am going to ask God for help. The first thing that I came across was a talk by a famous spiritual leader. He said that in the past when his life was difficult and he had no job and little money for food, he told people he was going to the job centre but what he actually did first was went to the park to meditate and ask for help. He didn’t always admit this to others because most people live in fear and they would not understand this course of action. ”Never mind sitting in the park, you need to be looking for a job’ they would say. I decided that before fear took hold I would meditate too. It was difficult to calm my mind as my brain was filled with scary thoughts and my heart was pounding but I kept on repeating to myself over and over ‘I have nothing to fear, God will guide me’. I said this over and over until the fear subsided and I began to feel reassured that I was going to be OK. The hardest thing on this spiritual journey is to have faith and trust in God. When life is going swimmingly it’s easy to declare your faith but it’s when difficult times arise, to find the strength to put your faith in God is the real challenge. To trust that he has your back and to walk into the unknown - that is the real test for us. For me, my decision has the ability to negatively affect my finances, to change my career for the worse with little possibility of going back. While writing this I feel fear rising inside of me but for now these are just thoughts which serve no purpose I must lean back and let them pass by and just take each step as I come to it and know that God is there for me. On the other hand my life could move from being mundane, safe and predictable to new and amazing. When I write in my journal of the life that I wish to manifest for myself it is so far removed from the life that I live now. How can this come in to being without some big changes? This is the problem with fear, we want to protect ourselves so much from fear we surround ourselves with walls to keep us safe but that stops us from going out and feeling the sun on our face and the beauty of the world. I’m not saying that fear won’t rear its head again, in fact I am certain it will and it may win but I feel this is a test for me to show God that I do have faith in him and I can move onto the next level of my spiritual journey, that of trust and the ability to step into the unknown relying solely on my faith in God. Am I up to this challenge?

A lesson about faith

A few months ago in the summer I was tested or maybe I was given an opportunity to learn a very important lesson. The weeks before had been glorious, the best you could wish for. Sunshine, no stress, spending long summer days with the man I love enjoying everything life had to offer. I had been doing some meditations focusing on prosperity and abundance. In the midst of this perfect existence we were suddenly put in an unusual situation. In our narrow minds we could not see how this could be a good experience, our fears told us that we must do everything we could to get out of this situation and return to the normality we had been experiencing. Inside I felt that there was some meaning behind what was happening but I did not know what and my fears were very present as much as my husbands were. I tried to meditate but I was unable to find calm. I’m not making excuses but it happened at the wrong time of the month when my hormones were making me particularly sensitive and my husbands fears were so strong that I felt I was being swept away by them. We let our fears determine our choices. At a crucial point I remember having a sudden feeling that we should step back and let fate take it’s course and fate in fact stepped in as far as I was concerned and stopped me from making a very costly mistake but my husband was not having any of this. Despite the signs trying to stop him he continued to push forward with his plans and eventually they came in to play. With hind sight we can now see that those choices were not only costly financially and still causing my husband a lot of stress but had we leaned back, let go and let God we would have had more money now than we would have had before (maybe my earlier meditations focusing on abundance and prosperity were the course of this)  and possibly some happy memories of that period in time. For myself  I did not suffer financially although my fear stopped me from gaining financially either. I did learn a valuable lesson though. I wonder now if that was God’s plan. They say nothing is meaningless. I look back now and realise if my faith was stronger and I was able then to put my fears aside and connect with God I could have dealt with the situation better. I cannot control my husband’s fears however and they may have been so strong that the outcome would have remained the same. I feel blessed that I have learned and this lesson has stayed with me and is helping me now. I have prayed to God to end my husband’s stress and put right his financial loss. I don’t like to see him so worried. I know that this is between God and him but I can only send my love.