Handling Fear

I was saying in a previous post how I had been going through a difficult time and how I thought it was unfair that fear blocked you from moving on when you need it most. I did find relief eventually by continually praying. My prayers were desperate but at some point I must have relaxed enough to enable me to hear the answer I needed to hear to move forward. Things have been good since then, brilliant in fact, I have felt close to God and aligned with the universe. You would think that if you were perfectly aligned, life should run perfectly, everything falling in to place just as it should but life does not happen like that. There are ups and there are downs and now I have come to another tricky situation. I now feel more equipped to deal with it which is why I must tell you about this. Fear is such a natural human response, anything that happens that is out of the ordinary, that challenges our regular existence instantly results in fear which clouds our decisions. The excuses that fill our heads to try and escape the fear are so loud and strong they block out the calmness that we must adopt to hear God. We want to listen to the fear because that feels safer, easier. We convince ourselves that these thoughts are there to protect us and those close to us from more hurt or from making mistakes in the future, so we must take them seriously. A situation has arisen in my life, a possible life changing decision. I instantly felt afraid, I wanted to ignore it and remain in my safe, predictable life. This time before the fear took hold completely I prayed to God. I actually said to myself I am not going to think fearful thoughts about this yet I am going to ask God for help. The first thing that I came across was a talk by a famous spiritual leader. He said that in the past when his life was difficult and he had no job and little money for food, he told people he was going to the job centre but what he actually did first was went to the park to meditate and ask for help. He didn’t always admit this to others because most people live in fear and they would not understand this course of action. ”Never mind sitting in the park, you need to be looking for a job’ they would say. I decided that before fear took hold I would meditate too. It was difficult to calm my mind as my brain was filled with scary thoughts and my heart was pounding but I kept on repeating to myself over and over ‘I have nothing to fear, God will guide me’. I said this over and over until the fear subsided and I began to feel reassured that I was going to be OK. The hardest thing on this spiritual journey is to have faith and trust in God. When life is going swimmingly it’s easy to declare your faith but it’s when difficult times arise, to find the strength to put your faith in God is the real challenge. To trust that he has your back and to walk into the unknown - that is the real test for us. For me, my decision has the ability to negatively affect my finances, to change my career for the worse with little possibility of going back. While writing this I feel fear rising inside of me but for now these are just thoughts which serve no purpose I must lean back and let them pass by and just take each step as I come to it and know that God is there for me. On the other hand my life could move from being mundane, safe and predictable to new and amazing. When I write in my journal of the life that I wish to manifest for myself it is so far removed from the life that I live now. How can this come in to being without some big changes? This is the problem with fear, we want to protect ourselves so much from fear we surround ourselves with walls to keep us safe but that stops us from going out and feeling the sun on our face and the beauty of the world. I’m not saying that fear won’t rear its head again, in fact I am certain it will and it may win but I feel this is a test for me to show God that I do have faith in him and I can move onto the next level of my spiritual journey, that of trust and the ability to step into the unknown relying solely on my faith in God. Am I up to this challenge?